This is great! I have heard before that playing in a way that triggers the hunting instinct helps with certain behaviors… but these other tips are new to me, yet make total sense! I have realized that my Cookie can sense how I’m feeling. When I’m sad, even if I don’t think I’m displaying my emotions, she will almost always either climb onto my lap or push herself as close against my side as catly possible and purr. That said it’s understandable that she can pick up on stress as well.
I have been trying to figure out what the heck is going on with her and my husband. She loves to attack his legs and feet, but this only happens at night, when we are getting ready for bed or if he gets up in the middle of the night. She never bite me or any of our four kids. I babysat in my home for years and she never bit those kids either… it’s JUST him. To clarify, she will touch her teeth to my hand on occasion, if she’s had enough cuddles or pets, but she has never sunk her teeth in. He frequently has marks on the back of his legs because she’s drawing blood. Also, it’s only been going on for the past year or so. She turned 17 mid-March.
For a while, I thought it was something he was doing wrong since the aggression was only aimed at him. I have also thought that she can pick up on the fact that he’s not a cat person. Then I started googling it and most articles seem to say that if your cat shows their belly, turns their back to you, or slowly blinks at you, they like and trust you. I’ve been paying more attention and noticed she does all of these things around him. If he’s petting her, she closes her eyes and purrs. This is a good thing but I’m still perplexed about the biting. Any ideas?
Thank you so much for sharing this — I love how deeply connected you are to Cookie and how much thought you’ve put into her behavior. It’s beautiful how she senses your emotions and offers comfort (that “catly possible” cuddle made me smile 😻).
As for the biting with your husband—wow, what a mystery, right? Especially since she’s so affectionate with him at other times and shows all those trust signals like slow blinking, exposing her belly, and purring.
Since I’m not a feline behaviorist, I always like to defer to the experts—and Melissa would probably have some great insights here—but I’ll offer a couple of thoughts that came up as I read your message:
1. Timing and Context Matter:
The fact that Cookie’s biting happens only at night and in very specific situations (getting ready for bed or if your husband gets up at night) makes me wonder if there’s a trigger tied to routine, movement, or environment.
Cats are sensitive to patterns, and even small things (like different scents, sleepwear, or movements) could set off that response.
2. Her Age Could Be a Factor (17 is Amazing!):
At her age, there could be some cognitive changes or even sensory sensitivities developing that affect how she perceives things in the dark or during transitions. Sometimes older cats become more easily startled or reactive, even with people they love and trust.
3. Energy & Relationship Dynamics:
You mentioned your husband isn’t really a cat person. Even if Cookie feels safe enough to purr and slow blink, she might still be picking up on subtle differences in energy between the two of you—especially if she’s more bonded to you. Melissa often talks about how cats mirror or respond to the energy around them, and that could be playing a role too.
If you’re open to it, I’d love to pass your question along to Melissa and see if she has any deeper insights! I know she'd be able to explore this from both a behavior and energetic standpoint.
Thank you again for sharing Cookie’s story—it’s clear how much love and care you’ve given her for these 17 amazing years! 💛
Thank you so much for laying out such detailed insights!
I have told him in the past that it may be a matter of her age.
As for things like movement or sensory, I will say that he has a heavier footfall. It sometimes can almost sound like stomping. Though that doesn’t really explain why it only happens at night… 🤷🏽♀️
Anyway, to answer your question, you can absolutely pass this on to Melissa!
Thank you so much for this thoughtful comment, and for tuning into the podcast! Cookie sounds like such a special soul with a big personality. I love that she offers you comfort when you’re sad. That kind of deep emotional attunement is something cats do so beautifully, especially when they have a strong bond with their person.
You’re absolutely right that cats are incredibly perceptive, and Cookie is clearly tuned into both of you. Her connection with your emotions makes total sense--and yes, she’s likely just as aware of your husband’s feelings, even if they’re subtle. Ironically, when someone isn’t a big cat person, that “cooler” energy can actually pique a cat’s curiosity. It’s like she’s saying, “Hey you, notice me!” That’s a whole conversation in itself.
That said, there’s definitely more going on here than just curiosity. The slow blinks, belly displays, and turning her back to him are all beautiful signs of trust. Cats don’t show their bellies lightly. It’s a vulnerable gesture, which makes the nighttime biting all the more puzzling, I know. When she bites your husband, how does he react. What popped in my mind right now is-- it's a fun game and has become a habit. So if he has a naturally loud reaction and yells "ouch," she might believe this is a game between the two of them. It might be something that started from an energetically "off" day but the "play" gave her comfort and she may see this as a bonding. This is where animal communication can really help us get a clearer sense of what Cookie might be trying to express in her own way, especially since she’s otherwise showing love and trust.
It’s also worth considering if any physical discomfort might be contributing, too. At 17, things like arthritis, cognitive shifts, or even thyroid issues can lead to changes in behavior that seem sudden but are really the result of slow-building changes inside the body. If she hasn’t had a senior wellness check recently, it might be worth doing one just to rule out anything physical.
Would you be open to hearing a few gentle adjustments that might help ease some of this for both Cookie and your husband?
Hi Melissa! Thank you so much for getting back to me and for all of this insight.
My husband’s “ouch” reactions are definitely loud enough that it startles her and she darts out of the room, but returns a minute later seeming unfazed.
Cookie does have some arthritis but it doesn’t slow her down too much. She still gets bursts of energy and the zoomies. Her discomfort is noticeable sometimes when she’s going upstairs, she kind of hobbles. And picking her up can sometimes cause her to cry out. Because of this, nobody picks her up but me and I only do it when necessary.
She also yowls at night on occasion. I don’t know if she’s doing it because she’s uncomfortable or just lonely.
And I would love to hear your advice on any adjustments we can make that might be helpful. Thank you so much!
Hi there! I just saw your message and wanted to make sure I got back to you. Apologies for the delay!
The yowling at night could be a few things such as arthritis discomfort, boredom, even something like cognitive dysfunction (kind of like dementia in older cats), or hyperthyroidism. A senior wellness check can really help rule out anything serious and give some peace of mind.
As for Cookie going after your husband's leg, here are a few things you might try:
1. Play before bedtime:
A quick 10–15 minute play session with a wand toy, feather, or laser pointer can help her burn off extra energy. Try to let her "catch" the toy at the end, it helps satisfy her natural hunting instinct and can make her feel more settled. This would also help if the yowling at night is linked to boredom.
2. Gentle boundaries:
When she goes after his legs, your husband can calmly say “No” or “Ouch” and stop interacting. No hollering (I know it's hard when it hurts and is startling) just calm, clear signals. If needed, you can also toss a soft toy or use a pillow to gently redirect her attention.
3. Positive bonding:
Encourage some quiet, low-pressure time together during the day like just sitting nearby or offering a treat. Little moments like that can help rebuild trust and shift their dynamic.
4. Visualize what you do want, not what you don't:
I know this might sound a little weird, but if your husband is thinking something like “she’s going to attack me,” that’s the image he’s putting out and Cookie can pick up on that energy. It’s almost like an invitation! Us humans tend to focus on what we don’t want, and then we find our cats doing that exactly, leading to frustration. Instead, have him visualize what he wants to happen: a gentle bump against his leg, Cookie being sweet and calm. It might sound a little silly, but I invite you both to give it a try. I've seen a lot of shifts happen from just this alone!
Please let keep me updated and I hope some of these suggestions help! Cookie is lucky to have you! Sending lots of love your way!
This is great! I have heard before that playing in a way that triggers the hunting instinct helps with certain behaviors… but these other tips are new to me, yet make total sense! I have realized that my Cookie can sense how I’m feeling. When I’m sad, even if I don’t think I’m displaying my emotions, she will almost always either climb onto my lap or push herself as close against my side as catly possible and purr. That said it’s understandable that she can pick up on stress as well.
I have been trying to figure out what the heck is going on with her and my husband. She loves to attack his legs and feet, but this only happens at night, when we are getting ready for bed or if he gets up in the middle of the night. She never bite me or any of our four kids. I babysat in my home for years and she never bit those kids either… it’s JUST him. To clarify, she will touch her teeth to my hand on occasion, if she’s had enough cuddles or pets, but she has never sunk her teeth in. He frequently has marks on the back of his legs because she’s drawing blood. Also, it’s only been going on for the past year or so. She turned 17 mid-March.
For a while, I thought it was something he was doing wrong since the aggression was only aimed at him. I have also thought that she can pick up on the fact that he’s not a cat person. Then I started googling it and most articles seem to say that if your cat shows their belly, turns their back to you, or slowly blinks at you, they like and trust you. I’ve been paying more attention and noticed she does all of these things around him. If he’s petting her, she closes her eyes and purrs. This is a good thing but I’m still perplexed about the biting. Any ideas?
Hi!
Thank you so much for sharing this — I love how deeply connected you are to Cookie and how much thought you’ve put into her behavior. It’s beautiful how she senses your emotions and offers comfort (that “catly possible” cuddle made me smile 😻).
As for the biting with your husband—wow, what a mystery, right? Especially since she’s so affectionate with him at other times and shows all those trust signals like slow blinking, exposing her belly, and purring.
Since I’m not a feline behaviorist, I always like to defer to the experts—and Melissa would probably have some great insights here—but I’ll offer a couple of thoughts that came up as I read your message:
1. Timing and Context Matter:
The fact that Cookie’s biting happens only at night and in very specific situations (getting ready for bed or if your husband gets up at night) makes me wonder if there’s a trigger tied to routine, movement, or environment.
Cats are sensitive to patterns, and even small things (like different scents, sleepwear, or movements) could set off that response.
2. Her Age Could Be a Factor (17 is Amazing!):
At her age, there could be some cognitive changes or even sensory sensitivities developing that affect how she perceives things in the dark or during transitions. Sometimes older cats become more easily startled or reactive, even with people they love and trust.
3. Energy & Relationship Dynamics:
You mentioned your husband isn’t really a cat person. Even if Cookie feels safe enough to purr and slow blink, she might still be picking up on subtle differences in energy between the two of you—especially if she’s more bonded to you. Melissa often talks about how cats mirror or respond to the energy around them, and that could be playing a role too.
If you’re open to it, I’d love to pass your question along to Melissa and see if she has any deeper insights! I know she'd be able to explore this from both a behavior and energetic standpoint.
Thank you again for sharing Cookie’s story—it’s clear how much love and care you’ve given her for these 17 amazing years! 💛
Thank you so much for laying out such detailed insights!
I have told him in the past that it may be a matter of her age.
As for things like movement or sensory, I will say that he has a heavier footfall. It sometimes can almost sound like stomping. Though that doesn’t really explain why it only happens at night… 🤷🏽♀️
Anyway, to answer your question, you can absolutely pass this on to Melissa!
Thanks again!
-Tish
Thank you so much for this thoughtful comment, and for tuning into the podcast! Cookie sounds like such a special soul with a big personality. I love that she offers you comfort when you’re sad. That kind of deep emotional attunement is something cats do so beautifully, especially when they have a strong bond with their person.
You’re absolutely right that cats are incredibly perceptive, and Cookie is clearly tuned into both of you. Her connection with your emotions makes total sense--and yes, she’s likely just as aware of your husband’s feelings, even if they’re subtle. Ironically, when someone isn’t a big cat person, that “cooler” energy can actually pique a cat’s curiosity. It’s like she’s saying, “Hey you, notice me!” That’s a whole conversation in itself.
That said, there’s definitely more going on here than just curiosity. The slow blinks, belly displays, and turning her back to him are all beautiful signs of trust. Cats don’t show their bellies lightly. It’s a vulnerable gesture, which makes the nighttime biting all the more puzzling, I know. When she bites your husband, how does he react. What popped in my mind right now is-- it's a fun game and has become a habit. So if he has a naturally loud reaction and yells "ouch," she might believe this is a game between the two of them. It might be something that started from an energetically "off" day but the "play" gave her comfort and she may see this as a bonding. This is where animal communication can really help us get a clearer sense of what Cookie might be trying to express in her own way, especially since she’s otherwise showing love and trust.
It’s also worth considering if any physical discomfort might be contributing, too. At 17, things like arthritis, cognitive shifts, or even thyroid issues can lead to changes in behavior that seem sudden but are really the result of slow-building changes inside the body. If she hasn’t had a senior wellness check recently, it might be worth doing one just to rule out anything physical.
Would you be open to hearing a few gentle adjustments that might help ease some of this for both Cookie and your husband?
Hi Melissa! Thank you so much for getting back to me and for all of this insight.
My husband’s “ouch” reactions are definitely loud enough that it startles her and she darts out of the room, but returns a minute later seeming unfazed.
Cookie does have some arthritis but it doesn’t slow her down too much. She still gets bursts of energy and the zoomies. Her discomfort is noticeable sometimes when she’s going upstairs, she kind of hobbles. And picking her up can sometimes cause her to cry out. Because of this, nobody picks her up but me and I only do it when necessary.
She also yowls at night on occasion. I don’t know if she’s doing it because she’s uncomfortable or just lonely.
And I would love to hear your advice on any adjustments we can make that might be helpful. Thank you so much!
Hi there! I just saw your message and wanted to make sure I got back to you. Apologies for the delay!
The yowling at night could be a few things such as arthritis discomfort, boredom, even something like cognitive dysfunction (kind of like dementia in older cats), or hyperthyroidism. A senior wellness check can really help rule out anything serious and give some peace of mind.
As for Cookie going after your husband's leg, here are a few things you might try:
1. Play before bedtime:
A quick 10–15 minute play session with a wand toy, feather, or laser pointer can help her burn off extra energy. Try to let her "catch" the toy at the end, it helps satisfy her natural hunting instinct and can make her feel more settled. This would also help if the yowling at night is linked to boredom.
2. Gentle boundaries:
When she goes after his legs, your husband can calmly say “No” or “Ouch” and stop interacting. No hollering (I know it's hard when it hurts and is startling) just calm, clear signals. If needed, you can also toss a soft toy or use a pillow to gently redirect her attention.
3. Positive bonding:
Encourage some quiet, low-pressure time together during the day like just sitting nearby or offering a treat. Little moments like that can help rebuild trust and shift their dynamic.
4. Visualize what you do want, not what you don't:
I know this might sound a little weird, but if your husband is thinking something like “she’s going to attack me,” that’s the image he’s putting out and Cookie can pick up on that energy. It’s almost like an invitation! Us humans tend to focus on what we don’t want, and then we find our cats doing that exactly, leading to frustration. Instead, have him visualize what he wants to happen: a gentle bump against his leg, Cookie being sweet and calm. It might sound a little silly, but I invite you both to give it a try. I've seen a lot of shifts happen from just this alone!
Please let keep me updated and I hope some of these suggestions help! Cookie is lucky to have you! Sending lots of love your way!