What Senior Cats Need Most When They Stop Eating

A heartfelt story about appetite struggles, fear, and the surprising energy our cats feel from us.

Hey Golden Whiskers Family,

There’s a moment every long-time cat parent eventually reaches — a moment when you realize your love has become intertwined with fear.

Fear that they’re slowing down.
Fear that they’re eating less.
Fear that the rhythm you’ve built together is shifting into something you can’t control.

I remember this so clearly with Mia.

During her final year, when her kidney disease and arthritis were taking more of her each month, her appetite would come and go in unpredictable waves. And I became obsessed — weighing her food, checking the cameras when I left the house, watching to see if she walked to her bowl or turned away.

I loved her so much that every skipped bite felt like a punch in my chest.

At the time, I thought I was just “being responsible.”
Later, I learned something I wish I had known sooner:

Mia wasn’t just changing.
She was feeling me change too.

Which brings me to a conversation from this week’s live roundtable.

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📹 What Senior Cats Need Most When They Stop Eating

During the interview, I shared a story about my friend Lori and her senior cat Remi — who’s going through something very similar to what Mia went through.

You can listen to the clip here…

Remi is 17 and a half.
She’s slowing down. Losing a little weight.
Her thyroid numbers bounce. Her appetite fluctuates.
Some days she eats. Some days… she doesn’t each much at all.

And Lori, in all her love and fear, is watching her like a hawk. Weighing her. Switching foods. Checking every bowl. Panicking when Remi turns away. Feeling like each meal — or missed meal — is a verdict on how much time they have left.

I asked Julie-Anne and Melissa what Lori could do.
And their answers weren’t what I expected.

Not because they were complicated.
Not because they were medical.

But because they were true.

They said:

Senior cats live in a different rhythm.
Their bodies are slowing down.
Their priorities shift.
Their energy changes.
And the most important thing a guardian can do isn’t to fix every symptom…

…but to soften around the fear.

To see the whole cat — not just the appetite chart.
To take care of your own heart too.
To notice the memories that still shimmer in the room.
To bring gentle, high-vibe love instead of panic.

And then I told them something that confirmed what they said is going on:

“Remi eats fine when Lori goes out of town.”

Why?

Because when I cat-sit Remi, I don’t bring the fear.
I bring presence. Calm. Routine. Curiosity.
And Remi feels it.

Just like Mia felt me.
Just like your cat feels you.

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💛 The Hardest Part of Loving a Senior Cat

What we often don’t talk about is the emotional weight of caregiving.

The subtle panic when an older cat eats less.
The fear that a bad day means something irreversible.
The guilt you feel for not catching something sooner.
The exhaustion from trying every food, every topper, every trick.

And behind all of it is one truth:

We’re terrified of losing them.
Because their love has been one of the best parts of our lives.

But here’s the other truth — the one that comforted me this week:

Your fear comes from love,
but your cat doesn’t live in that fear.

Cats live in presence.
In connection.
In energy.
In the way you sit next to them, breathe near them, speak softly, or smile at them.

They live in the bond — not the countdown.

Julie-Anne said something beautiful in the clip:

“It’s not wrong. It just is.”

And maybe that’s what senior cats teach us more than anything:

The art of loving without gripping.
The art of showing up without controlling.
The art of walking beside them — even as the path narrows.

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🐾 What I’m Trying with Niko & Milo This Week

Even though they’re young, I want to build healthier energy habits now — before we reach those later chapters again.

This week I’m practicing:

• A 5–10 second pause before meals
  Just breathing, relaxing my shoulders, letting my energy settle.

• Feeding without rushing
  No multitasking. No anxious “hurry up.”

• Talking to them like they understand every word
  Because honestly… I think they do.

It’s my own way of breaking the old patterns I had with Mia — and honoring what she taught me at the end.

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✨ Cattitude Prompt

What’s one moment with your cat — past or present — that still brings you instant warmth when you think of it?

Hit reply and share it with me. I’d love to read them.

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🎧 Watch the Full Roundtable

We went deep into anxious cats, appetite changes, energy spirals, holiday stress, and how to support both you and your cat.

👉 Watch the full conversation here:
Why Anxious Cats Stop Eating — And How to Help With Julie-Anne Heart and Melissa Sherman

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Thank you for being part of this community — a place where we get to feel things deeply, love our cats fully, and learn together how to give them the long, healthy, peaceful lives they deserve.

With gratitude,
Scott 💛🐾