The Grief No One Sees and the Trail That Helped Me Find My Way Back
They’re gone… but their names are on something that will never disappear.
After Mia died, I couldn’t go home.
I don’t just mean “go back to normal.”
I mean I literally couldn’t walk into my apartment. The silence was too loud. The stillness, unbearable. So I stayed on my friend Lori’s couch for three and a half months.
I had lived with cats in my home for 20 straight years. First Nomar and Mia together. Then just Mia. And suddenly... no one.
People talk about grief, but they don’t talk about this part—the part where you’re scared of your own front door. The part where the empty food bowl makes your chest cave in. The part where you wake up at 2:00 a.m. reaching for a cat who’s not there.
And yet, somehow, we’re supposed to “move on.”
I didn’t want to move on. I wanted to move with the love I still had for them.
So I created something. Something with their names on it. Something that would keep their memory alive.
And that’s how Tails on Trails was born.
🎧 This Week’s Episode
In this short solo episode, I share the story behind Tails on Trails—the annual hike and festival I created in honor of Mia and Nomar, and how it’s helping me turn grief into purpose.
🎙️ Listen here
🥾 The First Tribute Hike
The idea came slowly.
I had created something called a Tribute Hike—just a small gathering in the Smoky Mountains for people who had lost a pet. We hiked to a waterfall, wrote gratitude notes to our animals, and shared stories. It was simple and quiet—but it sparked something in me.
That hike became the seed for what’s now known as Tails on Trails.
It started as a way to remember our pets, but quickly evolved into something bigger—a hike not just to honor them, but to help the ones still here. It became a hike to save pets, with proceeds going to the Nomar & Mia Compassion Fund, a fund I created through the University of Tennessee to help pet parents pay emergency vet bills.
🧱 Building Through Grief
The night before our first Tails on Trails event, I felt excited—we had just passed our goal with 118 hikers signing up. We had a few last-minute vendor cancellations (which was frustrating), but the hike itself was more beautiful than I imagined.
The moment that broke me open?
The memory wall.
Reading people’s handwritten notes to their pets. Seeing the photos. Feeling the depth of love and loss from complete strangers. That’s when I knew… this wasn’t just an event.
It was a community of people trying to heal.
And in helping others heal, I was healing too.
💬 If You’re in the Middle of Grief
If you’re in that place now—on the couch, overwhelmed, uncertain—just know this:
You’re not doing it wrong.
Grief comes in waves. One day, you might feel better. Two months later, you might break down. That’s normal. Let yourself feel all of it.
And if you have someone in your life who can hold space for you—even just a little—lean on them for as long as you need. There’s no timeline.
And in time, maybe you’ll be ready to create something too. Something just for your pet. Something that helps you carry their love forward.
🐾 Want to Join Us?
If you’re local to Knoxville or nearby, I’d love for you to come to this year’s Tails on Trails on October 25. It’s more than a hike—it’s music, food trucks, joy, remembrance, connection, and a whole lot of dogs.
If you can’t attend, you can still donate to the Nomar & Mia Compassion Fund—and help a family keep their beloved pet alive.
👉 Learn more or donate: tributehikes.com
🐾 Cattitude Prompt:
Have you ever created something to help you heal?
It could be a hike. A garden. A journal. A tattoo. A meal you make every year in memory of someone you love.
Hit reply and tell me about it—I’d love to honor them with you.